


Not Minhyuk!

by mrtvejpes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Bottom Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Comedy, Love at First Dick, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Top Yoo Kihyun, cringefest, kiho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 12:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrtvejpes/pseuds/mrtvejpes
Summary: 02 313 6627:who is this??Kwihyoni:The fuck, Minhyuk.How many dick pics were you expecting today?Do you run around goading people into sending you their junk or.Wait, that sounds exactly like something you would do.02 313 6627:not minhyuk but thanks for the picture I guess?





	1. Please, stop saying peen.

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another dick pic fic, but this one is possibly the cringiest and mushiest of them all.

**Kwihyoni**

Firstly, take back that I am a pussy. I am actually doing this.

Secondly, kindly remove “Tinie” from your list of dumb nicknames.

[photo sent]

**02 313 6627**

????

[ring emoji]

**Kwihyoni**

Don't be extra.

I'm still waiting for an apology.

**02 313 6627**

who is this??

**Kwihyoni**

The fuck, Minhyuk.

How many dick pics were you expecting today?

Do you run around goading people into sending you their junk or.

Wait, that sounds exactly like something you would do.

**02 313 6627**

not minhyuk but thanks for the picture I guess?

**Kwihyoni**

Funny.

Stop playing.

You're not scaring me.

**02 313 6627**

I don't mean to scare you I just legit don't know any minhyuk

I mean I know some minhyuks, it's a common name

but I don't know any minhyuks who would ask for peen pics at 1PM

**Kwihyoni**

Give the phone back to Minhyuk.

**02 313 6627**

there's no Minhyuk this is my phone

**Kwihyoni**

Minhyuk, stop.

**02 313 6627**

not minhyuk!!

**Kwihyoni**

Who am I talking to?

**02 313 6627**

an attacked person

**Kwihyoni**

I am being serious.

Who are you?

**02 313 6627**

again, not minhyuk

but like

I guess the photo is nice??

**Kwihyoni**

You guess.

**02 313 6627**

like, it's probably the best attack peen pic out there of the heap of potential peen pics I could've got

aesthetically

**Kwihyoni**

Good to know.

I guess.

**02 313 6627**

and I mean sorry for the ring emoji haha

I panicked

**Kwihyoni**

Well. I am sorry for the unsolicited dick pic.

**02 313 6627**

as I said

a good peen

**Kwihyoni**

Hold on.

I can't believe you've been referring to my dick as a “peen.”

**02 313 6627**

in this house we do not swear

**Kwihyoni**

Alright. Look.

Are you sure you're not Minhyuk?

**02 313 6627**

pretty positive

**Kwihyoni**

Well, this is mortifying.

**02 313 6627**

it's alright, man

minhyuk is lucky

**Kwihyoni**

No, he is not.

He is dying tonight.

**02 313 6627**

for that peen?

I would gladly die too

**Kwihyoni**

Oh my god.

**02 313 6627**

and I panicked again

just

don't mind me

now we're both mortified and we can just

**Kwihyoni**

Yeah.

**02 313 6627**

act like it didn't happen

**Kwihyoni**

Yeah.

Thanks.

**02 313 6627**

no problem

 

~

 

**Kwihyoni**

I am terribly sorry.

But it's been bothering me.

**02 313 6627**

yeah?? sorry replies might be slow

I'm in the class

**Kwihyoni**

Can you perhaps delete that photo?

In case you haven't yet.

Which you probably have.

**02 313 6627**

I haven't saved it

but I will delete it from the convo

is that ok??

**Kwihyoni**

Please.

**02 313 6627**

np man

done

**Kwihyoni**

Thank you.

Also I'm sorry. Again. For writing. Again.

Just in case you're curious? Minhyuk gave me the wrong number. Or, rather, his handwriting is ludicrous. Both of those 3s in your number? Those were supposed to be 8s.

**02 313 6627**

lmao that's wild

again, it's alright

unless you send more peen pics

while I'm in public, that is

**Kwihyoni**

Correct me if I'm wrong.

But you seem to be quite alright with strange dudes sending you dicks.

**02 313 6627**

I wouldn't be if the peen was ugly

**Kwihyoni**

Oh.

 

**02 313 6627**

or like

too bent to the left

not to be shallow but

that's not pretty

**Kwihyoni**

But bent to the right would be okay?

**02 313 6627**

kkkkk

I guess any would be if I were getting it

 

hey uh

my class is over

was I too weird?

 

oh god. sorry.

**Kwihyoni**

My vocal class started early, I had to go.

You were a little weird, but then again, what tops unsolicited dicks.

By the way.

Good to know that out of all the people in front of whom I could've made an ass of myself, it's a person who likes dick.

**02 313 6627**

“whom” alskfjg

cute

anyway, yeah

but don't you?

**Kwihyoni**

?

**02 313 6627**

like dick, I mean

**Kwihyoni**

What makes you say that?

**02 313 6627**

well I thought

that minhyuk guy and you??

since you are on peen pic basis

**Kwihyoni**

Please, stop saying “peen.”

Also, I would like to clarify for future reference that I like very few people and Minhyuk, WHOM I loathe after all of this, is not on the list.

**02 313 6627**

well aren't u a delight

**Kwihyoni**

Got a good dick, though.

**02 313 6627**

OH MY GOD

you do though

**Kwihyoni**

Well.

This is messing with my confidence.

In a good way. Like, you're making my ego swell.

**02 313 6627**

;))

isn't that the reason for sending your pecker to other people

**Kwihyoni**

Can you please just call it a peen again.

**02 313 6627**

lol

hey also

do you maybe want to tell me your name

**Kwihyoni**

Why?

**02 313 6627**

you don't have to if it's too weird

but I mean

we've been talking for a while?

**Kwihyoni**

We've literally talked for 20 minutes in total, max.

**02 313 6627**

that classifies as a while

**Kwihyoni**

Touché.

**02 313 6627**

that your name

**Kwihyoni**

No.

It's Kihyun.

**02 313 6627**

a good name

for a good

**Kwihyoni**

Don't.

**02 313 6627**

:(

**Kwihyoni**

So. I told you mine.

**02 313 6627**

:)

**Kwihyoni**

Aren't you going to tell me yours?

**02 313 6627**

:)

gotta go

**Kwihyoni**

Funny.

Hey?

 

Well, this is just mean.

 

~

 

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

hey so I changed your contact name to Kihyun

bc as much as Kwihyoni is cute

I can't rly put that nick on that prick

 

**Kihyun**

Jesus. It's okay.

I changed yours, too.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

wow to what?

**Kihyun**

Well, you never told me your name, which means I had to improvise.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

oooh

nice

are you going to tell me?

**Kihyun**

:)

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

so this is how it is huh

**Kihyun**

:))

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

wow this is so petty

**Kihyun**

You reap what you sow.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

tell me?

**Kihyun**

Do you wanna know so bad?

It could be anything, really.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

yes I want to know

**Kihyun**

Hmmm.

Maybe I changed it to “cock connoisseur.”

Who knows.

Oh, wait. I do.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

(ง'̀-'́)ง

you wouldn't!!

**Kihyun**

Or maybe I changed it to “trouser snake thirster” since you don't like swear words.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

NO

**Kihyun**

Guess you'll never know.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

Kihyun no

this is the worst

I am sorry I was annoying

pls change my contact name to whatever it was

**Kihyun**

Should I now?

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

!!!!

**Kihyun**

But back then it was just a number.

That's pretty impersonal for someone who's seen my junk.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

I praised it too so be nice

oh wait

u just want me to tell you my name, don't you

**Kihyun**

Who knows?

Anyways.

I like the name the way it is now.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

you are really so petty!!

it's Hoseok by the way

**Kihyun**

That was easier than I thought.

**Meaner to whom I sent a weiner**

are you changing my contact name now?

pls

**Kihyun**

Yes.

I am.

**Hoseok**

GOOD thank you

I wouldn't want to go down in history as Trouser Snake Thirster

**Kihyun**

I am changing it to “Hose Hungry Hoseok”

**Hoseok**

Kihyun no!!!!

**Kihyun**

Kihyun, yes.

**Hoseok**

why are you like this!!!!

**Kihyun**

You're so dramatic.

[photo sent]

**Hoseok**

…

should I be surprised u used “whom”

**Kihyun**

Appreciate my comedy.

**Hoseok**

I did chuckle a little.

**Kihyun**

Perfect.

**Hoseok**

hey

just out of curiosity

what is it saved as now? my name I mean

**Kihyun**

[photo sent]

**Hoseok**

wow that was

very easy to get that out of you

**Kihyun**

Play nice and so will I.

**Hoseok**

good to know

hey, Kihyun?

I gotta run now

is it okay if I write to you later?

**Kihyun**

You mean, is it okay to write to a person with whom you're not only on dick pick basis but also on first name basis?

**Hoseok**

yup

**Kihyun**

I reckon it's definitely okay.

**Hoseok**

sweet

ttyl

 

~

 

**Hoseok**

not to be nsfw but I would kinda like to see your face

you know

so I have the full picture

**Kihyun**

Well, hello to you, too.

**Hoseok**

I mean, not that there's gonna be a fuller picture than the d one

**Kihyun**

Aw. The baby is growing up.

You're abbreviating “dick.”

**Hoseok**

yeah well yours is long so it needs abbreviation

**Kihyun**

Oh my god.

Don't do this to me when I'm in school.

**Hoseok**

but it's so late????

**Kihyun**

I have vocal classes during the day.

Regular classes in the evening.

**Hoseok**

am I interrupting?

I can write later

**Kihyun**

I can multitask.

**Hoseok**

nice

so

**Kihyun**

So?

**Hoseok**

have you considered that

**Kihyun**

Considered what?

**Hoseok**

sending me a pic of your face

so I know whom d I am thirsting after

**Kihyun**

*Whose.

**Hoseok**

you're insufferable

**Kihyun**

Can't argue with that.

**Hoseok**

no but really??

I want to know

**Kihyun**

Use your imagination.

**Hoseok**

I did

I found out I have zero imagination

I keep thinking about the d

**Kihyun**

Is that bad?

**Hoseok**

it is

I don't even know you

**Kihyun**

I don't know you, either.

And you've already seen my private parts.

You even know my name.

**Hoseok**

yes but

**Kihyun**

Would you just post your pictures randomly to anyone?

**Hoseok**

you did

That One

**Kihyun**

No, I just have a friend who gives me shitty nicknames, is good at goading otherwise rational people into doing dumb stuff, and has atrocious handwriting.

**Hoseok**

well that was eloquent

I still want to see your face

**Kihyun**

Look, no matter how smooth and sappy you get with me.

I am not sending you a photo of my face.

You could, like, post it on the Internet.

I know what kids these days do. Screenshotting other people's foolishness and whatnot. I don't want to see my dick in a reddit thread.

**Hoseok**

“kids these days” asdfgh please

how old are you

also have some faith in me

if I wanted to, I would've shared that pic ages ago

**Kihyun**

I suppose.

**Hoseok**

but for real, how old are you

now that I think about it

you are all “whomst” and stuff

are you 40 or something

**Kihyun**

I am not forty. I am a student.

**Hoseok**

old ppl can study too

**Kihyun**

Forty isn't even old.

**Hoseok**

oh my god you're forty

**Kihyun**

I am not forty.

**Hoseok**

I don't believe u I knew it I knewww

the d was too good to be true

**Kihyun**

I am twenty four.

**Hoseok**

are u sure mr whomst'd've

**Kihyun**

I am sure.

**Hoseok**

^o^

thank god

I almost had a heart attack

**Kihyun**

Again, so dramatic.

**Hoseok**

anyways you can call me hyung

[smirking face emoji]

 

**Kihyun**

I like Hoseok better.

**Hoseok**

asdfghjl

**Kihyun**

Are you forty, by the way?

**Hoseok**

nope

guess again

**Kihyun**

With all those emoticons, I would have pegged you for a teen.

**Hoseok**

well then u sent a peen to a teen

**Kihyun**

Get out.

**Hoseok**

guess again guess again

**Kihyun**

Calm down, you big baby.

Alright. Since you're older. Twenty seven?

**Hoseok**

wow do I look that old to u

**Kihyun**

You can't exactly look old or young to me.

I've never seen your face.

**Hoseok**

and aren't u sad about it

**Kihyun**

Real talk? Yeah.

**Hoseok**

what

you are????

**Kihyun**

I mean we've been talking.

You've seen my dick.

Now you even know my age.

I keep giving in, but I know nothing about you.

That makes me feel extremely bitter.

**Hoseok**

bitter and sad are two different emotions

smh why would you play me like this

I thought you were being sweet but it was just salt

**Kihyun**

I am always salty, get used to it.

**Hoseok**

I can do that

if you send me a selfie

**Kihyun**

What a segue.

**Hoseok**

glad you appreciate it

so

pic

pls

**Kihyun**

I don't even know your age yet.

**Hoseok**

ur right!!

guess again then!!

**Kihyun**

You're twenty six.

**Hoseok**

nope

**Kihyun**

So your twenty five years old ass wants my twenty four years old ass to call you hyung.

That's just preposterous.

When was your birthday?

**Hoseok**

why

are you one of those astrology freaks

**Kihyun**

Just tell me.

**Hoseok**

jeez

March

**Kihyun**

That was one month ago.

We were born in the same year.

I am not calling you hyung.

**Hoseok**

why can't u be cute for like five minutes and humour me

but you calling me Hoseok feels nice for some reason so

I'm okay with that

**Kihyun**

It's my charm.

**Hoseok**

I mean

some people are snake charmers

some people are charmers with snakes

**Kihyun**

I am calling the police.

**Hoseok**

lmaooo

it was a good joke!! come on!!

I laughed

**Kihyun**

I figured.

**Hoseok**

aw

**Kihyun**

Wait.

Are you fucking pisces.

**Hoseok**

I am not fucking anyone atm

**Kihyun**

#Doneth.

**Hoseok**

I AM ON A ROLL

**Kihyun**

This is why no one's fucking you.

**Hoseok**

tru

but did you have to point that out

**Kihyun**

Now who's salty?

**Hoseok**

still u

I just have salt in my wounds

**Kihyun**

Does this help.

It's obviously an older one because I can't take photos right now.

**Hoseok**

ASDFGH

WHAT

I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED AGAIN

**Kihyun**

You asked for it.

**Hoseok**

is this real

**Kihyun**

I take it that you're staying for more non-dick pic related content?

**Hoseok**

I understand now why that minhyuk guy calls you Tinie

sakgjkljag

I keep smashing my keypad you are so

so

SMOL

 

**Kihyun**

Hoseok, what the hell.

I am moderately tall.

**Hoseok**

no

u tiny

squishy

sMUL

**Kihyun**

Don't ever call me any of that again.

Don't make me read that with my own two eyes.

**Hoseok**

BUT IT'S TRU

**Kihyun**

I'm regretting I did this. So. Much.

**Hoseok**

dude

DUDE

how do u look like you weight 30 kg but ur d also looks like it weights 30 kg

**Kihyun**

I am not even going to reply.

**Hoseok**

I was afraid u might be some kind of old creeper for a second but

u look so cuddly omg

is this really you

like really really

 

Kihyun

Kihyunnie

 

are u mad

I panicked again you are too cute and tinyyyy

 

Kihyun????

**Kihyun**

Out of class.

**Hoseok**

oh thANK GOD

don't do this to me

I mean it please

**Kihyun**

You were being extra.

Also, not tiny. It's not the first thing a guy wants to hear when he sends you a photo of himself.

**Hoseok**

I couldn't help it ur just

I could literally pick u up

 

**Kihyun**

Well, don't.

**Hoseok**

please don't be angry?

**Kihyun**

I'll think about it.

Also.

That one was from last summer.

**Hoseok**

oh

so

have u grown any taller since then

**Kihyun**

You can choke.

**Hoseok**

[eyes emoji]

**Kihyun**

At this point?

I am not even surprised.

**Hoseok**

no but really

you are

cute

**Kihyun**

Thanks. Doesn't feel like pity talk at all.

**Hoseok**

get out

you know you're cute

that's why u chose that pic

and let me tell u

it worked

why do u think I am being this obnoxious

**Kihyun**

Because you are.

Obnoxious.

**Hoseok**

ow

but I am also smitten so

joke's on u, I'm staying for that non-d pic content

**Kihyun**

You mean this kind of content?

**Hoseok**

KIHYUN I SWEAR

is this a recent one??

did u take it just now??

**Kihyun**

What do you think.

**Hoseok**

omg

a good d

a good face

I am #blessed

**Kihyun**

Well. Good.

I'm ready to be blessed, too, by the way.

**Hoseok**

:)

**Kihyun**

Oh no, you don't.

**Hoseok**

:))

**Kihyun**

Hoseok.

You always do this.

**Hoseok**

prepare to be blessed

but not today

I gotta run

I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow ~~~

**Kihyun**

Hoseok.

It's okay if you're ugly.

**Hoseok**

aw, you tried, lil man

no but for real

I gotta go, I have this event that I promised to dance at

and there's not enough time for me to pick the Best picture

you feel me

**Kihyun**

You dance?

**Hoseok**

yeah!!

see? you're learning new things about me every day

it's not like I'm keeping stuff from you

I should be back around midnight

we can talk later if you're still up by then????

**Kihyun**

I guess.

**Hoseok**

don't be bummed lil cutie

**Kihyun**

Go!

Also, you better not be two metres tall, hideous, or blond.

**Hoseok**

psgksf

these are some standards

I would lie if I said I'm that tall, so that's okay

and I would def lie if I said I'm hideous

what do u have against blonds tho??

**Kihyun**

Everything.

**Hoseok**

well less competition for me I guess

btw my hair is dark

**Kihyun**

Didn't you say you have to go?

**Hoseok**

oh shoot!!

 

~

 

**Hoseok**

hey

are u up??

**Kihyun**

Sadly, yes.

**Hoseok**

aww

were you lurking??

**Kihyun**

I was not “lurking.” I just couldn't fall asleep.

**Hoseok**

so you were waiting for me

**Kihyun**

If it makes you happy.

**Hoseok**

it does

**Kihyun**

Smh. Was your night good?

**Hoseok**

yeah

also

I couldn't pick a photo

so

I took this one

I mean, u sent me a recent one

so it's fair

right?

...Kihyun?

**Kihyun**

What the hell.

That's not you.

**Hoseok**

uhhh

p sure it is

I see this amazing face every time I look in the mirror

**Kihyun**

This is not you. You took this from the Internet.

 

**Hoseok**

try to google search it then??

I took it 6 minutes ago

wow tiny man are u intimidated by my beauty or

what's going on??

like it's not that I expected u to cry about my looks

well u could've shed a tear but that's beside the point

**Kihyun**

Wait, is this really you?

**Hoseok**

are u finally ready to accept ur new religion

convert to Hoseok-is-handsome-ism

**Kihyun**

Hoseok. Please. Don't joke around.

I don't think this is a game anymore.

And if you're just catfishing, this is the time to stop.

**Hoseok**

I am not catfishing u

**Kihyun**

Look, I'm sorry, but could you perhaps send me another one? With a peace sign or something?

**Hoseok**

**Kihyun**

Wow.

**Hoseok**

u in love yet

**Kihyun**

You're really good-looking, I will give you that.

**Hoseok**

so good-looking you thought I was catfishing

I'm almost flattered?

**Kihyun**

No, it's

I mistook you for someone else for a second.

**Hoseok**

who?

 

**Kihyun**

It doesn't matter.

I'm sorry I freaked out. And I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I really am.

If it helps, I'm ready to convert?

**Hoseok**

did I remind u of your ex

or something painful like that

**Kihyun**

Lol, no.

Let's drop it, I already made this weird enough.

The pics?

[OK hand sign emoji]

**Hoseok**

wow

is this the first emoticon u sent me??

am I really that powerful?

**Kihyun**

You know you are.

**Hoseok**

asdfghjkkjhgfdk;lk

sTOP

no I'm just kidding

never stop

**Kihyun**

I have to, though. For now.

My eyes are closing. I have to get up at five.

**Hoseok**

but you said you couldn't sleep?!

**Kihyun**

I obviously lied and lurked.

Smh. How is a man who looks like you innocent like this?

**Hoseok**

I am yelling

you are roasting me but you are complimenting me

what can I do, I am content

**Kihyun**

Well, one thing you can do is wish me goodnight.

Because I am going.

**Hoseok**

you didn't have to wait I would just send the pic in the morning!!

although it's super cute you did

goodnight!!

 

~

 

**Hoseok**

good morning!!

since I had u shooketh yesterday, here. have a photo of morning!me

to recover

just kidding I look even better in daylight ahaha

**Kihyun**

I'd say it's a tie.

Good morning to you too. I've been awake for four hours.

[moon emoji]

**Hoseok**

ohmyGOD

exquisite usage of that emoticon

you are evolving lil man

**Kihyun**

You know what else is evolving.

**Hoseok**

what

**Kihyun**

My selfie game.

**Hoseok**

!!!!!!!!!!

I still cannot believe

that this sweet sweet angel faced class president faced boy sent me a peen pic

**Kihyun**

So we're back to “peen pic.” Regrettable.

**Hoseok**

it's 9am don't be an animal

**Kihyun**

You need to start saying dick if you like it so much.

**Hoseok**

>.<

hey

by the way

you never told me, I just kind of assumed

**Kihyun**

What?

**Hoseok**

you do, too

right

like d

**Kihyun**

Hoseok, we've been talking for a while.

**Hoseok**

yes but I keep wondering!!

what if I am making a thirsty fool of myself

in front of a straight guy who just likes his ego stroked

**Kihyun**

I mean. Ngl. I do like my ego stroked.

**Hoseok**

see!!

and the last time I asked

you just said you're not with that minhyuk guy

but what does that mean

**Kihyun**

It means exactly that. I'm not with Minhyuk, I just wanted to prove him wrong.

**Hoseok**

okay but

are you with anyone else

a guy?

**Kihyun**

Are you?

**Hoseok**

I told you before

I am not with anyone atm

I haven't really talked to anyone like this in a while tbh

 

**Kihyun**

I suppose that makes us exclusive, then.

As in. “We are flirting atrociously although we don't know each others' surnames yet” exclusive.

**Hoseok**

so you've been flirting????

**Kihyun**

Are you seriously telling me you haven't noticed?

**Hoseok**

I don't know!! I have!! but I'm out of practice!!

how do I know what's just my wishful thinking and what's actually you being thirsty back??

**Kihyun**

Ok, this is going to be cheesy.

**Hoseok**

what

what??

**Kihyun**

It was my turn to bring beverages for the class and.

I cannot possibly pass on this opportunity. Wait, how do I do this.

**Hoseok**

??????

**Kihyun**

The thirst is mutual.

**Hoseok**

omffjoka k kihyuNN

**Kihyun**

Get on my level.

**Hoseok**

THIS IS TOO DORKY GET OUT

no I take that back come back

**Kihyun**

Gotta go anyway. The class is starting.

This was my only break until 3PM, so don't panic.

Oh, and just for the record?

You owe me a selfie. Two, actually.

**Hoseok**

how so!! I just sent u one

and I'll have u know it was a superb photo worth of 10 basic pics of 10 basic guys

**Kihyun**

That, although true, is beside the point.

We should keep score.

Because then you owe me two more selfies and I like the idea of being reimbursed very much.

**Hoseok  
** “reimbursed” smh you whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es freak

I already asked u to stop being an animal at 9am

**Kihyun**

:)

**Hoseok**

wow

the cheek

also I only owe you 1 pic

I counted you sly sly man

**Kihyun**

Nope. Two.

**Hoseok**

scroll back and count with me then

**Kihyun**

I see you forgot about the initial photo already.

That's quite tragic.

**Hoseok**

how could I ever forget the fated attack peen!!

but it's deleted from the convo like you asked me

and you haven't sent any new ones

so

we shouldn't include it really

bc it only lives in my loving memory

**Kihyun**

Let's say I'm going to go with your logic.

Still. You're in debt.

**Hoseok**

I will try to reimburaskjfash you

u tiny general

does a kendo pic sound good

**Kihyun**

...Yes.

Yes, it does.

But Hoseok? I really gotta run now.

**Hoseok**

okay!

pls survive the day

(＾◇＾）ノ

 


	2. No sweet Kihyuns today.

**Kihyun**

How come a man who looks like you sends emoticons like this.

**Hoseok**

kihyun!!!!

it's 6pm you said 3pm

you betrayed me

**Kihyun**

I simply said I won't get another break until 3PM.

And all I did then was grab some lunch before I had to go right back.

**Hoseok**

I was waiting

alone

with my sadness

**Kihyun**

Hey, do you know that song Dramarama?

#you

**Hoseok**

wow

rude

I wanted you back but I didn't want your CLAPback

and what do you mean, a man who looks like me

**Kihyun**

A man whose looks could kill.

You're really attractive.

**Hoseok**

you're forgiven

**Kihyun**

Aw, that was easy.

**Hoseok**

but then again

“whose”

I cannot with u

**Kihyun**

You're acting as if I were using some kind of advanced seonbi scholar lexicon.

Fyi.

I have no vocal classes today, but I might still respond a little slower than usual.

There is this school trip planned for the weekend, so I am leaving first thing in the morning. I still haven't packed my things.

I always wait for the last moment to prepare for the exact weather.

**Hoseok**

you are leaving me??

again????

**Kihyun**

I am not leaving you.

Because we are not physically together.

**Hoseok**

which is a bummer, really

**Kihyun**

Mood.

But you'll be able to reach me just fine.

It's just this annual trip thing. We roam the nature. We sign with the birds. We sightsee.

We pretend not to drink as we watch our vocal coach get wasted.

Then we drink openly.

Sunday, we compete with some local choirs.

We win.

We go home.

**Hoseok**

“we win”

nice

**Kihyun**

We always do.

Because we have me.

**Hoseok**

skhg shut up

**Kihyun**

Never.

**Hoseok**

btw what was that about drinking

should I be prepared for tipsy texting

bc I don't know if I can ever be ready enough

**Kihyun**

I can just. Not text you while or if I am tipsy.

**Hoseok**

no!!!!!!!!!!

I don't want that either

it's just that

what if u attack again

**Kihyun**

I won't. I swear there will be no dick pics.

**Hoseok**

I mean even your face attacks

it's too cute

**Kihyun**

I will take that as a compliment and I will consider the course of my future attacks.

In the meantime.

Wasn't I supposed to be attacked today as well?

**Hoseok**

:>

**Kihyun**

What is it.

**Hoseok**

are u ready

**Kihyun**

Should I sit down or.

**Hoseok**

I dunno :))

**Kihyun**

Fuck.

I did, indeed, have to sit down.

**Hoseok**

kkkk

that is

INDEED

good to know

**Kihyun**

You're gorgeous.

**Hoseok**

did u just notice

**Kihyun**

No.

But how am I ever going to show my face in front of you again.

**Hoseok**

ki stopppp

do u rly like it

**Kihyun**

Every pixel of it.

**Hoseok**

nERD

**Kihyun**

You're gorgeous.

I said that already but damn.

**Hoseok**

I was unprepared for this

**Kihyun**

You???

What about me.

**Hoseok**

no I mean

I was expecting a positive response bc I took about 20 selfies and chose the best one, I am a pro

and also bc I'm a legit snackage

**Kihyun**

Right.

**Hoseok**

but you're like rly nice about it??

ahaha I dunno

I am being panicky again

**Kihyun**

I'm not sure I follow you.

**Hoseok**

no it's just

the point is

I get complimented a lot, right?

**Kihyun**

I bet.

**Hoseok**

I probably sound so full of myself rn haha but sometimes I'd rather people didn't comment at all

than say something

too forceful?

**Kihyun**

Do people do that?

**Hoseok**

it doesn't matter it's not like I go around being absolutely PURSUED by ppl who find me hot

ahahaha just look at me “poor little pretty guy”

**Kihyun**

I will ignore that you just called yourself hot and pretty.

Because you are both of that.

I suppose I see where they are coming from since you are really.

Really something.

**Hoseok**

(●´□`)

**Kihyun**

Though if I am ever gross to you, just tell me.

I will tone it down.

**Hoseok**

no!!!!!

ur perfect

all gentlemanly and stuff ahaha

I'm soft

**Kihyun**

* tip * * tip *

**Hoseok**

NO

u r ruining the moment!!

**Kihyun**

Excuse you, it was an excellently timed meme.

**Hoseok**

no it wasn't

it would've been excellently timed in 2012

**Kihyun**

Well. Since you have nothing pleasant to say to me.

I will just have to do all the work myself.

I don't think I told you before, and not to be a rando, but your ears.

**Hoseok**

what about them!! :(

**Kihyun**

I kind of want to touch them? They're all nice and pink.

**Hoseok** **/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't say they're too big

oh

**Kihyun**

Sorry, is that one of the things you didn't want to hear?

With your moderately sized ears.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no it's

I'm just

even softer now

**Kihyun**

To quote you: asdfghj.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ASDFGHJJKL

no but for real

some of my friends call be bunny ahaha

my ears do stick out a lil bit

**Kihyun**

Are you kidding.

A bunny?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah

I kind of like bc it makes me feel cute

why

do you hate it

you don't have to call me that I wasn't saying you should

 

**Kihyun**

It's just that.

Wait.

[photo sent]

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

DID U SRSLY CHANGE MY CONTACT NAME TO THIS

BEFORE I TOLD U????

and u

U

used an emoticon

this is too precious

**Kihyun**

It's not precious, it's sappy, I am changing it again.

It kind of looks like a pair of boobs the more I look at it, anyway.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no don't u dare

I love it when you're being cute

also nothing wrong about boobs

**Kihyun**

Again, to quote you: tru.

I am keeping it then.

If you're okay with that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am

very much so

**Kihyun**

Why is it only me who gets terrible nicknames smh.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ahahaha

aw

Tinie

**Kihyun**

No, not you too. Don't.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I won't

I won't even call you smol

that often

**Kihyun**

I sighed so loud that your ancestors must have heard it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

lol how does that even work

**Kihyun**

Hoseok?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what

no

this is your “i am leaving for 14 years” text

you have to go, am I right

**Kihyun**

We're leaving really early.

And now that everything is packed, I have no more excuses to stay up.

I even put on a face mask to have a reason to talk to you for a bit more.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh my god

this whole night ur just making me soft

**Kihyun**

Should I make you hard or.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

askgsag GO

**Kihyun**

:)

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

also

with that fringe?

u sure talk big

**Kihyun**

What's wrong with my fringe.

Also what does a haircut have to do with talking big.

I just need my dick for that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

get outttttt

dork

**Kihyun**

Alright.

Goodnight!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

goodnight!!~~~

 

~

 

**Ki ♥**

We've arrived.

The fringe is still alive and kicking.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!!

it's only 8am

**Ki ♥**

I told you we set off early.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but I though

I thought that like. 8 is early.

I woke up a while ago to wish you a nice trip!!

why did you stay up with me until midnight yesterday??

**Ki ♥**

Well, you said it.

I stayed up to be with you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

**Ki ♥**

So this is what our relationship deteriorated into.

A thread of silly memes.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

how else could I describe the feeling of my heart being nuclear attacked like this!!

not to mention at least the memes * I * sent u are not 6 years old

unlike yours

**Ki ♥**

I send six years old memes while you send memes like a six year old.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was expecting that

but would a six year old look like this

 

**Ki ♥**

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't u meme me with the meme I memed you with!!

**Ki ♥**

To answer your question.

Expression-wise?

It's exactly how a six year old would look like.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wow no sweet kihyuns today

I see

**Ki ♥**

I am never sweet.

Also, I am slightly sleep-deprived.

I reckon another very eary selfie could fix that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh

ohhh

I see

I see what you're doing

 

**Ki ♥**

I mean. I am not exactly being subtle about it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I can send you some

a ton

to make your mood better

**Ki ♥**

Do it, coward.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but then you'll be in debt, mr reimbursement

**Ki ♥**

Let me deal with that later.

I just want to see your face.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

(*ﾟДﾟ*)

oh my god

wait

I have some older ones

**Ki ♥**

Serve me the looks.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wow wow

I thought you weren't going to be sweet today

but you already are

kinda

in your salty demanding way

**Ki ♥**

Just so you know.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah??

**Ki ♥**

I am really glad you didn't call me tiny today.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I mean

I was more concerned about that fanny pack

and beret

**Ki ♥**

F you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ahaha

but ow please don't swear at me it's 8am

**Ki ♥**

At what time precisely can I swear at you for coming for my fashion sense like that yet again?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

pls never

unless I ask

**Ki ♥**

Oh.

Wow.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

anyways!!

#dancepractice

well, #before

after I am more sweaty

**Ki ♥**

I'm listening.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

nO it's too soon

you're in public

**Ki ♥**

Too soon in the day or.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

in the day

(///)

**Ki ♥**

Now I'll never be soft again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!

I must stop you

with my adorableness

**Ki ♥**

WOW.

Do you even have a bad angle.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

bad angle?? I don't know her who is she

lmao

**Ki ♥**

As a side note? I think I have been #stopped and #defeated.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was supposed to make your heart flutter but instead you're out there

making MY heart flutter

**Ki ♥**

Am I really doing that?

By praising you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't hate

a guy wants to be cherished

**Ki ♥**

Consider that done. Also I am saving these like crazy. Is that alright?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am yelling

but softly

yes

I've been saving yours so it's only fair

by the way??

I was too vain to post this one because. well.

but now that I know that you like it

**Ki ♥**

EARS.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:)

I am weeping

u just used capitals for the whole message

**Ki ♥**

Those are well deserved capital letters. The ears are worth it.

Please don't be two metres tall.

I want to be able to touch them.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

not 2 metres tall I promise

**Ki ♥**

Good.

Hoseok?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw

you're going again?

**Ki ♥**

I'll be back in the evening.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

so late!!

**Ki ♥**

Don't you have plans for today?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I do but

it's mostly just dance practice and grocery shopping

no performances right now

how about you?? singing with the birds??

**Ki ♥**

We're going sightseeing. It's quite rude to keep texting while the guide is talking.

Not to mention Minhyuk is staring and prying.

He's not used to me being sociable, not even on the phone.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

minhyuk is there??

should I say hi and thanks??

**Ki ♥**

He doesn't deserve any thanks.

He deserves pain and punishment.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I thought we weren't going to talk dirty yet

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, I swear.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:)

run run lil man

enjoy the beauty around you

which by no means rivals ~ my ~ beauty

**Ki ♥**

It really doesn't.

Talk to you later?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

asfjk yes

 

~

 

**Ki ♥**

I stole a minute to talk.

A Minhyuk-less minute, should I add.

 

You're probably practising.

I hope it goes well! I don't even know what kind of dance you do.

Or what kind of music you like.

 

Anyway, gotta go.

 

~

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

noooooo

I literally came 10 mins after you left

this is the worst

on the bright side, I bought myself some ice cream

today is my cheat day

well, every day is a cheat day if you count ramyun

 

hello darkness my old friend

 

I'm sad

**Ki ♥**

Hello, sad.

I'm dad.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

OHMYGOD

is it surprising that I'm not even surprised

**Ki ♥**

I asked Minhyuk and he said my beret was foolish.

After a thorough consideration, I have decided that I despise the both of you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no you don't

you're too gentle for that

btw

what did he say about that church boy fringe

**Ki ♥**

That it's a church boy fringe.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kkkkkkkk I cannot

**Ki ♥**

I am starting to think that you are a made up person.

Maybe you've been Minhyuk all along.

Laughing at my idiocy.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

again

not minhyuk

but he sounds fun

**Ki ♥**

It is time we cut off contact.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw

don't be like that

I'm just playing

it's less scary than being all

y'know

**Ki ♥**

I don't know.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't make me say it

bc I won't

what're you up to?

**Ki ♥**

Just got out of the museum.

No piece of art really beats your face at this point, but the exhibition was still quite nice.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyunnnn

(///)

**Ki ♥**

You are so easy to please.

Was your day alright?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yep!!

I went to my friend's studio after I danced

we were chilling for a while and then he showed me his new beats

**Ki ♥**

Oh.

Is he a musician?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw don't worry lil man

he's not a singer

so, no competition for u

he raps, actually!

**Ki ♥**

You like that?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it's cool

he's mad talented

maybe you've heard of him?? he goes under the name I.M

**Ki ♥**

As opposed to U.R.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you're really feeling yourself this evening!!!!

but since I missed you, I'm going to let this one slide

**Ki ♥**

I don't think I've heard of him, but that's probably because I don't pay attention to the scene.

I mostly listen to classic stuff.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

as in

trot

**Ki ♥**

No, you big dork.

Although I am not against trot.

I meant the kind of music your regular choir boy would listen to.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

so

hymns and stuff

**Ki ♥**

I said choir, not church.

Stop comparing me to a church boy.

I am not that innocent.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ofc

look at that evil face!

**Ki ♥**

Have you really been saving my selfies?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

well!!

of course I have!!

I have some manners

when a bae sends a pic

I save

**Ki ♥**

Am I a bae now?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I dunno

ahahaha

jk

**Ki ♥**

Don't be panicky.

I like it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!

but!!!!

back to music

**Ki ♥**

Yes?

You never told me what style of music you dance to.

Is it trot.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no u tiny dork

it's mostly hip hop

but I've got the moves so I could probably charm you with my slow + sexy dance too

like, EXO sexy

**Ki ♥**

Now we're talking.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

asfjofj

( ﾟｏ⌒)

**Ki ♥**

Do you perform the slow and sexy sort, too?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

sometimes

when I do a backup for female singers

it's usually slow and sensual

I love dancing, like, love love it

so I love to try just about any choreo we come up with, really

it's the clothes tho lol

sometimes it's like

nipple to the wind

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok the Nip Slip guy.

That sounds like a brand new contact name tailored just for you.

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am pouring my heart out here

**Ki ♥**

Sorry, it's just the way you said it. It was too funny.

:)

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

a smiley face

u must be in stitches now

**Ki ♥**

I am, actually.

You make me laugh a lot.

I hate it because I have this unstoppable, unconcealable laugh.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

do I really make you laugh? in a good way?

in a laugh with me not at me way?

**Ki ♥**

Yeah, all the time.

But back to your stage outfits. You were saying something about nipples.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

if you weren't so good-looking I would just ghost you by now!!

anyways, yeah

the outfits are sometimes

it's like, when I'm alone and dressed like that?? oh honey. I am definitely liking what I see

**Ki ♥**

Understandable.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but it's not always that pleasant to wear in front of other people

BUT

it's my job, and I love it

and I look hot so

kkkk

**Ki ♥**

Maybe one day you will stage your own performances.

Pick your own music, choose how to dress. People will come to see you.

I would.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ki...

I am expecting a professional roastage now

you always make me drop my defences

u sweet talk me

and then u Roast

**Ki ♥**

Is this what you think of me?

I am wounded.

I was, in all actuality, going to ask for more pictures of your face.

Neck up, so you feel comfortable.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

* pelican-yells *

**Ki ♥**

What the fuck.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

that was me yelling bc of your cuteness

u know

I didn't really address this

but although the prick pic was pretty

and it threw me into this super panicky gay mode after a long time of not rly being

interested

in anyone

or anything like that rly

it was this about u

that made it so easy to keep talking

**Ki ♥**

What do you mean? What about me?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I don't even know

you were so apologetic and polite and just

considerate

**Ki ♥**

I mean.

Hoseok.

I did send you an unsolicited dick pic.

The least I could do was apologize.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah but

I've got my fair share of unwanted junk pics

bc I used to be on this grimy website (don't ask)

looking for the love of my life like a clown

**Ki ♥**

And you got dick pics instead.

This is the world we live in.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

well it was my fault, really

for looking for something nice in a place like that

so for a bit i'd get peen pics

and it was fun for a while

but then it wasn't fun anymore

and then it was just awful

**Ki ♥**

I get it.

They were all bent to the left.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

KKKKK

some were

**Ki ♥**

So I was right when I called you a cock connoisseur.

It says a lot, then. That you actually liked mine.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ofc this is what u decide to take from the whole confession

but like, you weren't nasty or rude or just plain filthy to me

**Ki ♥**

Why would I, though?

I was in the wrong. I wasn't planning to gross you out with my junk, either. Or to hit on you.

Not my preferred way of picking up guys tbh.

But, like.

From what I've gathered, people are usually too forward? As in, almost to the point you expect it?

I'm sorry about that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

sometimes, yeah

I'm just glad you weren't

I would've probably dropped u after the first few messages

and that would be a pity, really

**Ki ♥**

It wouldn't if I were a creep.

I don't get it, though. You're gorgeous.

When I see your face. I mean, yes, I want to kiss you silly. Duh.

It just really doesn't scream “send dicks here” at me.

So there's that.

You're too pretty to send dicks to.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you want to kiss me?

**Ki ♥**

No, Hoseok, I don't want to kiss the guy I think about 25/8.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was feeling a little down

and fussy, I guess

I do this sometimes

I make my own damn self sad

but right now??

**Ki ♥**

Just to be sure.

Show me your face.

I must check whether you're crying or not.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and if I am

**Ki ♥**

Then I must #protecc.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you are never serious!!

actually you are too serious but you're also too

you

I am no longer sad don't worry

**Ki ♥**

Still. I require an extensive photo documentation.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

fssssssfsf

I did take some selfies in the studio

bc I guess u love to be in my debt

**Ki ♥**

Maybe I do.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:>

well

can't wait for the payback

bc guess what

it doesn't stop at one

**Ki ♥**

HOSEOK.

Is there more.

I don't think I can handle it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I only took these two since I think of your health

**Ki ♥**

Thank you.

My cardiovascular system is grateful to you.

You never smiled like this before. In the pictures you sent me, I mean.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

do u like my kissy face too

**Ki ♥**

Yes.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

do u still want to kiss it silly

**Ki ♥**

**Yes.**

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

where are you now

**Ki ♥**

Don't even.

Gwangju.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:(

seoul

**Ki ♥**

I figured.

On the upside, I study in Seoul.

You live there.

So.

We're not exactly star-crossed.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

we're now

that's what matters

because I want to be kissed

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, you are killing me.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

like, right now

**Ki ♥**

Wait.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

why

are u hopping on a train

 

kihyun

**Ki ♥**

Sorry. I had to shake off Minhyuk.

We got separated in the crowd when we left the museum, so I had time and privacy to talk.

Now we're all sitting together at this seafood restaurant and literally everyone is just minding their own business and plate. Except for this tireless tick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am almost getting the feeling that he's your boyfriend

**Ki ♥**

No. He's just nosy.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

maybe he's into you

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is he into guys though

**Ki ♥**

Please. This is a boys' choir.

I don't have a single straight friend.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ur not being comforting

I only have straight friends

#bummer

so you're safe

**Ki ♥**

Don't tell me you're being petty about this.

Or jealous.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

(*`д´*)

so!!?

**Ki ♥**

How can a guy like you be jealous.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

v easily I'm secretly insecure

**Ki ♥**

Jealousy.mp3

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you really like that band huh

**Ki ♥**

They're snacks.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

this is what I have to put up with

first minhyuk

now seven more men

**Ki ♥**

I will calm you down once and for all.

Minhyuk likes big guys.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that why u sent him the peen!!!!

**Ki ♥**

No!

You big baby, I sent him the peen because I am incredibly vain.

And proud of said peen.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you said peen

:))

**Ki ♥**

I will throw you out of the window.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

sounds fake you won't reach the window

**Ki ♥** .

I can't believe it's so close from kiss to diss with you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

LMAO

but aw

you just reminded me that I ache to be kissed

**Ki ♥**

Ache to be kissed.

Fuck.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what

**Ki ♥**

That was heavy.

How am I supposed to go back to the others.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

where are you now??

**Ki ♥**

Outside. There's this little veranda, you can see the river from here.

Said I needed some fresh air.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I want to see you. at least a pic of you

u owe me

**Ki ♥**

Wait.

Alright.

Gimme a moment.

I'm going to go closer to the river so no one sees me taking selfies like a great pretentious oaf.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

okay

hurry?

**Ki ♥**

Beret? Gone.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!! adorable

but dangerous!!

but adorable :(

but wait

what are you wearing

what is this

are you wearing someone else's jacket

is it minhyuk's !!!! :(

**Ki ♥**

Not Minhyuk's!

Hyungwon's, actually.

He brought a spare one because he's always cold.

And, well. Instead, it was me who ended up being cold in the museum. You know how art must be stored at a certain temperature?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

noooo you have a whole harem

**Ki ♥**

No, I only have one whole man.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it hyungwon >.<

**Ki ♥**

At this point?

You are just pretending to be fussy. You just want me to say it with my own mouth.

Like the fool I am.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

well then say it

**Ki ♥**

I want you.

Alright?  
I want this.

Whatever it is.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

damn

**Ki ♥**

Don't swear.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

hecko

**Ki ♥**

Better.

Listen, I gotta go.

Not because I freaked myself out. I didn't. I know what I want.

But because it'd be weird if I stayed out any longer.

It's a class trip, after all.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was gonna be whiny and say something like “how can u leave after u tell me this”

I'm just too glad to complain rn tho

not that u must go!!

that u told me

**Ki ♥**

Good. I'll talk to you first thing in the morning.

Take care?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yes

please

u too

 


	3. A very nice usage of affixation, hyung.

**Ki ♥**

Singing with birds.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I haven't had any breakfast yet

but I'm already down for this snack

**Ki ♥**

What do you mean you haven't eaten yet!

It's ten in the morning.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

stop shaming me

I woke up late

I'm supposed to be in the practice room in 30 mins and I haven't left my bed yet rip

**Ki ♥**

I am not shaming you, I am scolding you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wow

are these daddy hours or

**Ki ♥**

Someone is feeling flippant, I see.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

smh you show me that bit of neck and then u act surprised

 

**Ki ♥**

:>

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

Kihyunnie I don't want to go

but I have to

**Ki ♥**

I know.

Run along.

Ttyl?

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

definitely

this will be a long day :(

wait for me

 

~

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

two in one bc jooheon showed me how to use PS!!

I was grumpy bc I overslept

and then I got scolded again for running late

but then I remembered we're going to talk later and

welp

**Ki ♥**

And now who's smol!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

p sure it's still u

**Ki ♥**

Rude.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but hey

do u like big guys maybe?

**Ki ♥**

Why.

You promised you are not tall.

I haven't grown overnight.

Did you trick me. Are you actually a giant.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ahahaha no

I'm really not that tall

**Ki ♥**

Well, but by whose standards?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

okay so

tell me yours

I'll tell you mine

 

**Ki ♥**

But I swear if you laugh.

I want to preface this by saying I am of perfectly average height.

1,76 m.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

impossible

sly lil man you're adding some cms

**Ki ♥**

I told you. I am of perfectly average height.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

how are you 1,76 when I'm 1,78????

lies

you are full of lies

**Ki ♥**

So your 1,78 m ass has been calling my 1,76 m ass tiny, smul, and lil.

Smh.

The absurdity and disrespect I have to put up with.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

boiii

real talk tho you look rly rly smol? rly squishy? except you're all sharp stares and glass-cutting cheekbones and stuff

**Ki ♥**

I am absolutely enraged.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

naw you're not

you're secretly pleased

because imagine the possibilities

the kisses

the ear touches

**Ki ♥**

I'd like to change my statement.

I am absolutely delighted.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

see (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

still, u weight like 30 kg

so in my books? you're very much tiny and lovable

**Ki ♥**

I'd like to change my statement yet again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

request denied!!

**Ki ♥**

Sounds rich from someone who can pull off That facial expression.

Like, I've been calling you a big baby, but you actually are. A big baby.

Look at those cheeks.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I can be adorbs too

u didn't invent cuteness

**Ki ♥**

Didn't I?

Well then.

But I invented bed selfies.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

#ASSAULTED

the tousled fringe akgjakjgl

and I sent u something so harmless as to spare ur lil heart

I thought this evening would be peaceful

u betrayer

**Ki ♥**

I mean, I can stop texting.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh no u don't

nu-uh

don't

**Ki ♥**

Very well.

By the way. Are you finally getting used to my fringe?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

shut up I like your fringe

even though

like this??

10/10

**Ki ♥**

Noted.

How was your day?

You've been busy, am I right?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

a little

well, a lot

we practiced a new choreo

then I had an afternoon class

well it's more of a course, really

I don't study anymore, not the way you do

I just have these classes from time to time

I am trying to get this one certificate. as a fallback I suppose.

**Ki ♥**

Really?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah, if we don't ~ really really ~ make it

and if jobs keep being sparse

I should be able to teach (obv just dance)

**Ki ♥**

That's.

Wow.

Probably not what you want in life, but I am impressed.

I am also quite smitten. I didn't know you were a planner.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you know, I'm not getting any younger

**Ki ♥**

-_-

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

are u done with me yet

u are, right

**Ki ♥**

How old are you again? Kindly remind me, dear old sir.

Oh, wait. We were both born in the same exact year.

Like, drag me harder.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I mean, you're still a student, you have a purpose

and apparently you win tons of competitions on a regular basis

I used to be like that in my heyday

**Ki ♥**

Yes, your “heyday.” Those golden years of fame. Those days long past when you were, maybe, twenty three instead of twenty five.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you're making fun of me but just u wait

**Ki ♥**

I'm literally turning twenty five in several months, so.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

which month

**Ki ♥**

November.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wait

are u a scorpio

**Ki ♥**

As if that wasn't enough.

It's even more complicated than that. Because it always is with Scorpios, lmao.

I was born on the day some people still consider Scorpio season, but some consider it Sagittarius season already.

Personally, I'd go for Scorpio. Fits better with the whole bitter asshole image I have going on.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did u drag yourself just so I wouldn't

but look

we're both water signs

and roosters

we're, like, compatible and stuff

and we're not even together yet

aren't we so so disgustingly sweet already

**Ki ♥**

We are.

And we are also cheesy astrology freaks, apparently.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

go away I was being romantic!!

**Ki ♥**

Hey.

You know.

We haven't really shared personal info like this in a while.

I mean, we've shared some vague stuff, like the fact that you dance and I sing and we are both based in Seoul (tho who isn't).

Other than that, we just kind of stopped at our first names.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and heights

**Ki ♥**

And heights.

Except... knowing these small random things is still not enough, is it.

And I guess I am just reluctant to ask about stuff even though I've been curious. You know. In case you didn't want to tell me and I ended up looking like a snooper.

Or in case we might learn something we don't like about each other.

I don't know if you feel the same way.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I

yeah

I mean of course I'm scared

this is all

new and

rly nice

**Ki ♥**

But realistically, who knows.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

do you have to put it so bluntly

still, ngl. I've been having the same thoughts

what if 1 wrong sentence changes everything

what if I ruin this

**Ki ♥**

Okay. Look.

We should've done this ages ago.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

done what?

**Ki ♥**

November 22, 1993.

I'm originally from Ilsan.

I have an older brother.

I like the colour blue.

I love chicken, like, to the point of considering getting a chicken farm just to eat chicken daily.

I'm a neat freak.

I'm also a good cook, so it's worth it to put up with me.

Especially when it comes to ramen.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

a good cook

with a good

**Ki ♥**

Well.

You're getting brave again, I see.

But not as brave as to drop the c-word.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was going hard but ramyun calmed me down. how am I so blessed how how

**Ki ♥**

Who knows? Your turn.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no lil man be thorough

I still don't know how much you weight

**Ki ♥**

Is that important?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it 30 kg :)

**Ki ♥**

No, I would be dead.

It's almost twice as much, I'll leave it at that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

“almost” !!!!

do u really weight so little

I could

not only pick you up but spin you around for 3 days straight

**Ki ♥**

Seeing that we are of similar height, I should be able to pick you up just as easily.

So, don't be extra.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

haha

ahahaha :>

**Ki ♥**

What is it?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

nothing :>

**Ki ♥**

Well, I am right.

Unless you weight a literal ton.

Wait a sec, is that your secret. Is that the reason you are so snappish and jealous. Is that the reason why you don't like the stage outfits. Is that, mayhaps, the reason you defended that bunny emoticon which looks like a pair of boobs.

Do you have boobs.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

jesus kihyun

and what if I do

weight a ton

**Ki ♥**

Then there's more of you to be kissed.

And spooned.

More titty to be cupped.

Just don't sit on my lap. I have strong legs, but they're skinny.

I don't want them broken and ground to dust.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

^o^

I mean u can sit on mine

**Ki ♥**

Deal.

Now. Your turn.

Unless you really don't want to share this kind of info.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I want to!!

here it is

March 1, 1993

my family still lives in Anyang

1 younger brother (already married) (life is just passing me by)

I really really love my mum

she's the best

not bc she's my mum but bc she's. hands down. the bestest. and prettiest. she gave birth to me after all

what else

heights freak me out

I like the colour red

look at us being all ice and fire

grrm is shaking in his boots

also I love ramyun but you already know that

I eat it a lot

I generally eat a lot, actually

**Ki ♥**

Called it.

[link sent]

Das you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that a chubby bunny challenge

wooooow

wow wow

wow

your sense of humour has really deteriorated

**Ki ♥**

I never had one.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

not tru but

okay

just for the record

I weight a little over 70 kg

**Ki ♥**

It's not even a lot or anything. I am, however, slightly shook at the difference.

Because you're only two centimetres taller and yet.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

heavy bones, I guess

**Ki ♥**

You never sent me a photo that would show more than a bit of shoulder.

Which is fine. I always reckoned it's because you're uncomfortable showing too much, seeing that people have been nasty to you.

For real, though, if you're chubby and afraid I wouldn't like it, don't be.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I will

send it, I mean

one day

when you are Prepared

it's u who should be afraid

**Ki ♥**

Ominous.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

not really haha

suppose I just want to keep some mystery in our relationship

**Ki ♥**

That's fair.

It's not like I've shared my actual nudity with you.

Oh, wait.

I have.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but u made me delete it too so don't pull that card out

if you want to pull something out

u know what u should do

**Ki ♥**

Do you want me to send it again?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh mygod

I have been awaiting this

no srsly it's. I'm ready

but didn't you delete it? can you take one now?? are you alone???

what am I asking u probably kept The peen pic I praised so much and u stare at it lovingly

**Ki ♥**

Hold up, you actually want me to send it?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u were just joking omg

I am truly a thirsty fool

**Ki ♥**

I only have the old one because I don't go around documenting my dick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

a pity

but go on

**Ki ♥**

Should I really send it?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did I stutter

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, what the hell.

Well. Here goes nothing.

[photo sent]

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

MY BELOVED

WE ARE REUNITED AT LAST

**Ki ♥**

You're messing with my confidence again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

gloat, little guy

I am giving you the chance

**Ki ♥**

“Little guy” smh.

Mind the context, please.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

“30 kg peen guy” doesn't really have the same ring to it, though, does it

**Ki ♥**

It doesn't weight thirty kilos but thanks.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

dunno

I must check first

**Ki ♥**

Are you in a certain type of mood today? Was I just not aware of it until now?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

idk

all that info-sharing and personal stuff made me like this I guess

I feel safer somehow

**Ki ♥**

And safety makes you want to touch dick?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

when u put it like this, I seriously sound like a horny halfwit

**Ki ♥**

You're not.

You're amazing.

You're also free to touch my dick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

｡ﾟ(*///´□`///)ﾟ｡

**Ki ♥**

Is this your response? Out of all the things you could have said?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but how can I touch it

you're in gwangju

and how do u expect me to touch the d

when u never even told me your surname

**Ki ♥**

I see. I suppose we're still bad at this soul-baring stuff.

Although I am at least good at dick-baring.

So. Your turn.

Not to show me your d! Don't worry!

Tell me yours first.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and

do you want my stage name or family name

**Ki ♥**

You have two to choose from? Fancy.

Both. Both is good.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it's Shin for when I perform

I took my mum's surname for that in fact

**Ki ♥**

That's super sweet of you, to be honest.

Also, it's super pretty. Suits you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyun!!

well

my family name is Lee

like, the official one

**Ki ♥**

Lee Hoseok.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

(///)

don't say it like that

**Ki ♥**

You didn't even hear me say it.

But I did. Say it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

out loud?? like the biggest dork??

**Ki ♥**

Smh.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no I'm sorry I love it

that you did that

**Ki ♥**

Nevermind, I am never uttering your name again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

good bc if we ever meet in person and you look at me with those sharp sharp eyes and go “lee hoseok”

I will melt

plus that disrespect will kill me play nice lil man

you're younger after all

**Ki ♥**

By, like, two days.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

by 9 months!!

a whole baby could be born during that time

**Ki ♥**

Alright, hyung.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

y u always attacc

**Ki ♥**

It's incredibly funny to drive you up the wall.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

speaking of me against the wall

**Ki ♥**

Up! UP!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:)

ur right

it's incredibly funny to drive ppl up the wall

as I said tho

I need that extra bit of safety to do this

so. tell me your full name. we might get back to that wall thing then

**Ki ♥**

You know what?

I think I'm going to keep you in the dark for a little longer.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no

I don't like this

I do not condone this

**Ki ♥**

Who asked you?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u petty person!!

u petty petty peen poster!!

**Ki ♥**

Now I am definitely not telling you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am going to guess then!!

but what if u say no even if I get it right :(

**Ki ♥**

Let's try it, then.

I guess you'll have to trust me.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I do

trust you

**Ki ♥**

Do you want me to get all soft on you? Acting cute for one second won't work.

Step up your game.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

hum!!

well then

your family name is Kim

 

**Ki ♥**

Wow.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did I get it right????!!

**Ki ♥**

So basic.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ok then u prickly kid

is it bae

bc you're

a bae

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it do

as in

ur DOne with me

 

**Ki ♥**

That is de facto true because I am, quite often, very much done with you.

It's not Do, tho.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it min

as in

be MINe

**Ki ♥**

No. It's a pretty rare one, too, how did you even came up with it?

But I have a friend whose surname is Min.

And, incidentally, he's a rapper.

You said you hang around those. So there's that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

lmao it would be wild if it were Gloss

**Ki ♥**

It.

It is.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no

way

**Ki ♥**

Do you know him?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

not personally but!!

everyone in seoul knows him!!

he's a star!!

wait do you know-know him?

are u guys pals? in real life?

**Ki ♥**

Yeah? We come from the same hometown.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

THIS IS

INCREDIBLE I must tell jooheon and i.m about this

I am dating a person who knows effin Gloss!!!!

uh oh

I didn't mean it like that

pls don't mind me

it just came out

I don't think we're actually dating I am not delusional

**Ki ♥**

We're indeed not.

But do you want to?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe

**Ki ♥**

It took me long enough, I know.

Do you, though? Want to.

Like, I get that it's... well. We've never seen each other in person.

We're both really bad at this.

And I just asked you out like a corny schoolboy would.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

sort of

yeah

but

I almost started crying

it's the panicky side of me taking charge again I

**Ki ♥**

You don't have to say yes, it's silly enough that I even assumed you'd want to.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

STOP

as the older and wiser

**Ki ♥**

Where is this going.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I propose we stop putting ourselves down

if u mean what u said

then i'm all in

and I trust u mean it

**Ki ♥**

Are you referencing my favourite band right now?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yup

I'm witty like that

**Ki ♥**

You are. Even greasier than me.

Great. I am dating someone with whom I am fed up on a daily basis.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

**Ki ♥**

Hello, 911?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

also

haven't heard u use whom in a while

my belly fluttered

**Ki ♥**

That was a whole fanfiction line you just dropped.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

do u read fanfiction

nerd

**Ki ♥**

A nerd who knows Gloss.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

listen

u said u don't rly have straight friends

is he

maybe

**Ki ♥**

Do you want him.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ngl he's my type

tiny

lovely

roasts everyone and everything

**Ki ♥**

Are we breaking up already?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no u big tsundere never

I was trying to flirt

**Ki ♥**

With me?

By gushing about another guy? Boi, if you don't.

No wonder you are single.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

*were

**Ki ♥**

Oh, damn.

Right.

Now my belly fluttered.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

softie!!

**Ki ♥**

Oh, hell.

The guys are coming.

I don't want to give them any reason to snoop so I'll be going.

It's getting late, anyway.

Goodnight.

Boyfriend.

Asdfgh.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

NO WAIT

babe

**Ki ♥**

Talk to you tomorrow.

Don't be mad?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I'm not but

aw

:(

u forgot to tell me your name

 

Kihyunnie?

goodnight

 

~

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

good morning lil fella!!

I remember you said that sunday is your Big Competition day

so good luck!!

absolutely kill everyone

like the #Destroyer you are

I am the best boyfriend already tbh

 

btw

before I go

(we're drilling today, an event came up unexpectedly so we're learning two choreos at once rip)

I compiled a little list for you

 

is your name moon

bc you're the moon of my life

 

is it bo

bc you're my boo

 

is it eun

bc I want us to be eUNited

 

is it gi

bc GImme that d

 

is it cho

bc I want to CHOke on that

**Ki ♥**

How.

Did you go.

From “you're the moon of my life” to “I want to choke on your dick.”

Anyways, it's not either of those.

 

Did you give up already?

 

The competition is still going. It was our turn a while ago, but there's more contestants scheduled for the afternoon and it's prohibited to use phones in the hall.

Which is understandable.

If I saw a bitch on his phone during my solo, I would bungee jump off the podium to strangle him.

While hitting that high note.

Great, the coach just found my hiding spot.

Gotta go now.

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ahaha I suppose I was a little extra ^-^'

but it usually happens in one glance

I look at your face and I'm like aww

and then I look down and I'm like

[moon emoji]

I guess I'll just die

btw

I hope you win!

I can't wait to see your smug little face

 

in the meantime

is your family name perhaps lee like mine

that would be too much to handle

the name is common enough tho so it's worth a try

or maybe it's shin

or im

or son

I am running out of surnames

 

I keep staring at the phone even though I'm busy and so are you and the leader is scolding me save me kihyun

this is our first day together and we spend the majority of it apart

how metaphorical

**Ki ♥**

I am back.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

finally!!

it's 9pm!!

did you win?

**Ki ♥**

What do you think?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you look so satisfied and glowy of course you won!!

u know what else u won with this pic

my heart

**Ki ♥**

I will look after it gently.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

assfpk;ojas you must be truly happy

**Ki ♥**

I am.

To be finally able to talk to you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u sly sweet talker u!

who is it next to u tho

is it minhyuk

I hate him

**Ki ♥**

Nope, Hyungwon.

He's a sight to behold, right.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:(((((((

**Ki ♥**

I am rather touched you didn't want to replace me immediately.

Like you did with Gloss.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I told u I was trying to flirt with u back then!!

and like

this hyungwon guy is pretty and all

but he's not you

so

I'm just worried since a person like him is around you so often

and since you worn his jacket that one time

**Ki ♥**

Not to burst your bubble, but we're roommates. We even share socks.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that supposed to help

**Ki ♥**

No, just. How can YOU be worried, anyway?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I just am >.<

**Ki ♥**

So fussy.

For the record.

That's Minhyuk in the back.

Being his obnoxious self.

Took this yesterday in the hotel room after the guys had come.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

are you skhgkagKIDDING me

a onesie

my man

in a onesie

my man with his harem (ง'̀-'́)ง

but in a onesie!!

**Ki ♥**

Yes. Your man.

In a onesie.

Also, you are not the only advanced person anymore. I can send two pics at once as well.

Soon, I will pay off my debt.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am not even mad about it

not even a little bit

**Ki ♥**

Before I become a debt-free man, though.

Did you perhaps prepare a sneak attack selfie for me today?

A sweaty practice selfie, mayhaps.

No pressure.

But since we won today, I think I deserve a prize.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

didn't you get one

like, a golden trophy or something

**Ki ♥**

Yes.

But gold is cold.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wow

**Ki ♥**

Meaningless.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

attention we have a poet here

**Ki ♥**

Not to mention I already have all the gold I need.

In my throat.

Before you make this weird, I meant my vocal chords.

Not your dick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what a shame

**Ki ♥**

Although I too am down for some slight choke-on-a-dick action.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

F!!!

**Ki ♥**

Did you try to swear, but your general cuddliness wouldn't let you?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:(

you know me

I can make up for that tho

listen boi

is your surname bang

bc

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, don't even finish.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:>

**Ki ♥**

I sighed so loud I startled a flock of pigeons.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did they finally let you out of that terrible sweaty stuffy hall?

**Ki ♥**

Yeah. We're going to celebrate.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

does that mean

tipsy talk

**Ki ♥**

Later, if you're up to it.

I won't drink too much. Three shots of soju are my limit.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you can still handle more than I do

**Ki ♥**

How so? How many can you drink?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

1

**Ki ♥**

A baby.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

excuse you

I just don't want to poison this exquisite body with alcohol

it makes me puffy and ugly

and I cry when I drink

a lot

**Ki ♥**

When you're sober, too.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

tru :(

**Ki ♥**

In any case. The guys will be in the room with me after the celebration.

So I can't drink too much, can't babble to much, and, sadly, can't tipsy text you the proper way.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and what classifies as the proper way?

**Ki ♥**

Dick suck talk.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

heck

**Ki ♥**

You can still send me pics, tho.

Chaste pics!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I took one on my way home

**Ki ♥**

Me waiting for you to serve looks.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u really love chicken don't u

**Ki ♥**

...Yeah.

Don't come for me.

Chickens are funny and precious and delicious.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

like me

**Ki ♥**

Truer words have never been spoken.

Can't wait to eat you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

(///)

eat me up or

**Ki ♥**

Or.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

absolute. FFFF.

you said there will be no “proper” tipsy talk tonight and yet

you're already making me weak

**Ki ♥**

And I'm not even tipsy yet.

Btw.

Still thirsty for that photo.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

here it is u impatient tiny dictator

my hair was sweaty

thus the cap

look at me using thus like a sophisticated gay intellectual

**Ki ♥**

I noticed.

And it made my heartbeat race for a good minute, too.

Your face and your lexicon both, to clarify.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but guess what

**Ki ♥**

What.

Oh my, there is more.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you're never getting out of debt, lil fella

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, you're.

Hot.

You look a bit overworked babe but.

You know how you always just randomly smash your hands on the keypad and send it.

(Bc you do that a lot.)

That's what I wanna do right now.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I hope you do

I need you to know that I am a full course meal even when I'm tired and bummed and lonely

**Ki ♥**

ಥ_ಥ

Me focusing at your hotness and sadness at the same time

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ohh

ooooh

oooohooooh

are we being hip again

are we using emoticons like a regular homo sapiens sapiens

**Ki ♥**

Am I being goaded into making a homo joke?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

pls

spare me

**Ki ♥**

Your loss.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

back to u

are you celebrating yet?

**Ki ♥**

On my first glass.

You are still safe.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

great

it's the time for my detective skills to shine

is your surname hwang

**Ki ♥**

Sneaky.

No, it isn't.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it ji

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it jang

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it kang

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it ha

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it park

it must be park it's such a common name too

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it seo

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wait

I'm onto something

do you maybe have a foreign surname?

**Ki ♥**

Hmm. Clever.

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am furious

**Ki ♥**

A fluffball like you?

Should I just tell you? I don't want you to be bummed again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no

I have some pride

is it ahn

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

argh!!

is it cha

**Ki ♥**

No.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is it song

a surname for a singer

**Ki ♥**

No. A lovely thought, tho.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yoooo :(

**Ki ♥**

I am cackling.

Should I be mean?

No, I won't be mean. Not to you. I had the opportunity to be absolutely merciless, but instead.

Look at my soft ass self.

You already guessed it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what

when

did u trick me

did u say no even though I guessed it right

**Ki ♥**

No, it's neither of the names you tried.

But re-read the last message.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

??

**Ki ♥**

Really?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

omg

it's Yoo

**Ki ♥**

Attaboy.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I hate

yoooooo

**Ki ♥**

For fuck's sake, did we just open a literal Pandora box full of puns.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u BET

**Ki ♥**

I need a second shot.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

uh oh

careful lil man

you're nearing your limit

**Ki ♥**

:>

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

this is truly

amazing yet frustrating

when u hit me back with emojis I hit u with

**Ki ♥**

I will make it up to you.

Puerto Rican style.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that a hecking sext

**Ki ♥**

No, you uncultured thirster. I was being poetic.

Did you know that the Puerto Ricans compose tiny impromptu poems when they see someone attractive?

Like, they do it on the spot. To flatter them.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I thought you'd be much less coherent when tipsy but

it's getting worse and worse

**Ki ♥**

I want to write you a piropo.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

should I write one too

about your peenropo

**Ki ♥**

Remove yourself from this conversation.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kkkk

touchy

is the poem also going to be touchy

as in, about how you want to touch me

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, I am not sexting you! I am wooing you.

Though you are definitely welcome to write a poem about my junk. Spoil me.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I might :)

depends on how I like your poem

**Ki ♥**

When you smile, the moon is none

'cause it grows pale next to the sun.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I shrivelled

that was

much more ratchet than I expected

**Ki ♥**

I'm cackling, it really was.

Let's see yours, then.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

get ready

**Ki ♥**

Downing the second glass btw.

I have a hunch I will need it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

holy hecker

u sent me ur pecker

it hit me like a double-decker

**Ki ♥**

I cannot breathe.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did I out-piporo-ed u

**Ki ♥**

A very nice usage of affixation, hyung.

Yes.

Yes, you did.

I am laughing, to quote you once again, like a pelican.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

“hyung” !! + ur laughing !!

did u like it so much

**Ki ♥**

Yeah.

You could be a lyricist.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

if only

lmao

the wine is talking, but I love it

**Ki ♥**

No, it's my gross feelings for you talking.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

asdfghjkl!!

embarrassing!!

I can't wait for you to read this in the morning

carry on

**Ki ♥**

Joke's on you, my feelings for you will be just as gross in the morning.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

[flushed face emoji]

**Ki ♥**

Ok, not piropo, but I want to try again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

are you sure

I wonder if I should try to stop you to preserve some of your dignity

**Ki ♥**

Your pink little shell-shaped ears?

I want to kiss them for years.

So even if you're chubby,

can you be my hubby?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am deleting

**Ki ♥h**

Where has my sweet lovey-dovey man go, who is this cynical goblin.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I learned from the best

**Ki ♥**

Aw, baby, you think I'm the best.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

at savagery, yes

**Ki ♥**

That's what counts.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

when you're like this

all nice and stuff

it really messes with my head

**Ki ♥**

I hope it does.

Bc your whole existence messes with mine.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

Kihyun?

**Ki ♥**

Yes?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I'm really

really glad you accidentally d-picd me

I'm so much less lonely than I was

but also so much more lonely bc we just text

haha

too deep

**Ki ♥**

Go deeper.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

asdfghj

was this supposed to be sweet or dirty

**Ki ♥**

Who knows?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you said no sexting and yet

**Ki ♥**

I will tone it down.

Instead, I will drink. :)

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you said three shots was your limit!!

**Ki ♥**

Yup.

Honestly, though? I feel fine.

I think I might be able to outdrink our coach.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don'tttt

**Ki ♥**

I am going to outdrink her.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyun nO

**Ki ♥**

She laughed in my face, now I must outdrink her at all costs.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyun you are one meter tall and you weight 30 kg

your blood will turn into pure ethanol if you drink one more glass

**Ki ♥**

Fourth!

It burns.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

bae don't do it

**Ki ♥**

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh my god

**Ki ♥**

This man is unstoppable today.

I am going to win.

Again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

for such a tiny hamster-looking cutie u sure are a daredevil

**Ki ♥**

My pride was attacked.

You know what I'm like when my pride is attacked.

Fifth.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you're going to be so miserable tomorrow

pls listen to hyung

**Ki ♥**

I have a better idea.

You listen to me.

[file sent]

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that

is that your voice?

omg is that you singing????

did you record this for me??????

when????????

**Ki ♥**

Earlier.

A lot earlier.

Guess I needed those few shots to share it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

why tho!!!!!!!

u study music u win competitions why would you ever hesitate

kihyun do you realize that I will never freaking listen to any other song my ears are CLOSED to anything that isn't your voice

oh gosh

oh goshhhh

you have a lisp

I cannot

**Ki ♥**

I do not have a lisp, excuse you!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you do

the sweetest lisp

**Ki ♥**

Is this how you treat the future Korean star.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I'm so goddamn close to crying

what's the name of the song?

do I even care it's not like I'll ever listen to the original nvm

**Ki ♥**

The Last Time.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did u record a real flippin love song for me

**Ki ♥**

Yeah.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyun this is super unfair to do and I realize it and it's the worst possible time to ask and to be dumb and insecure but are you

are you serious about this????

about us

**Ki ♥**

Yeah.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that all u gonna say????!

**Ki ♥**

For now, yeah.

Sixth.

I am crushing her.

Also. I genuinely don't know where these bouts of doubt come from.

You're so perfect?? You put up with me when I'm an ass.

Like I was gone before I even saw your face.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I...

**Ki ♥**

Wait.

Wait for me.

This is the final countdown.

I think I really might outdrink her.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

>.<

**Ki ♥**

I'll be right back.

 


	4. So we are.

**Ki ♥**

So.

As you may have deduced, I did not outdrink my coach. Not even close.

It seems that I blacked out not too long after the last message.

Minhyuk and Hyungwon helped to carry me upstairs.

Apparently, I kept bragging about you. The cat is out of the bag. Now they know.

I will never hear the end of it.

Since I woke up, all they've talked about was my unsolicited dick pic.

They also lowkey don't believe you exist.

I was so drunk yesterday I couldn't even remember my password, which is probably for the best because they would've snooped on this whole conversation.

At any rate, they have been fucking relentless today. I showed them your picture and they roasted me so hard I'm a fucking chestnut now.

Said there's no way a guy like you would go for a guy like me.

I am not even hungover, but I'd rather be.

Now I am just bitter.

 

I hope you're not angry. I didn't mean to just disappear yesterday.

 

That's right. You said that you've been practicing two choreos at once. You must be busy.

 

Got home safely. Since there's no school today, we're probably going to hang out with the guys. Although they're being insufferable. Text me when you have time?

I want to talk to someone nice for a change.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw

aw aw aw aw

my soft man

my soft tiny man

who told you not to do it

**Ki ♥**

You.

But my pride was on the line.

I had to.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and how did that work out for u

 

**Ki ♥**

It didn't.

-_-

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

also I'm not rly mad

I was a little bummed when you stopped texting but I figured u were probably passed out under the table somewhere

so I just listened to that song on repeat until I fell asleep

[moon emoji]

**Ki ♥**

You did?

I. I forgot I sent it. This is the worst.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I did. and on the bus, too. and after the practice

and by the way?

I bragged about you from day 1

well, not day 1. that was the d day

(ahaha d day)

but ever since you showed me your face, I bragged. like, to the point of annoying all of my friends. so there's that.

**Ki ♥**

But we weren't even together then!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah, tell that to my stupid heart

I'm actually super pleased you bragged about me

I am extremely brag-worthy tbh

it also means that no minhyuks can snoop on your peen anymore

**Ki ♥**

How can you be worried about the same Minhyuk who considers me so below your league that he thinks you're made up?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

because he's right next to you and I'm not

also?

show him this

getting my certificate!

**Ki ♥**

All the little shit said was that 1. you're too hot for me, 2. anyone could've stolen the photo from anywhere, 3. you should send another one showing the other side of your face bc what if you're horribly scarred and that's the reason you're wasting your time with me.

I detest him.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

lmao

here you go, minhyuk

also back off, the d is mine

_ ಠ _ ‿ _ ↼ _

**Ki ♥**

That is quite possibly the evilest and most threatening emoticon you've sent so far.

He's shooketh but so am I.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it's funny tho

he reacts the same way you did when you saw me for the first time

**Ki ♥**

Well. You see.

That's because you look too good to be true.

Back then you also reminded me of someone, so I freaked out a bit.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

are you implying there's someone as good-looking as me out there?

bc I think the heck not

I tried to look extra snackable today, too

to kinda

make you not regret sending me that song lmao idk

**Ki ♥**

Why would I regret it?

I'm just a bit embarrassed.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

why tho?

you're so good at this

such a tiny man

such a strong voice

**Ki ♥**

You seem to have a thing for my tininess.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I... might

**Ki ♥**

Is this real?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it's super cute, okay?? don't drag me

**Ki ♥**

I'm not dragging you.

But I'm not that small.

Only two centimetres shorter than you, remember. That's nothing.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

buuut you're 14x tinier

**Ki ♥**

Do you have a tiny guy kink or.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

again, I... might

I sure have a cute guy kink

**Ki ♥**

In that case.

This is probably the tiniest I look in any picture of me ever taken.

Whatever rocks my bae's boat.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

that???? rocked my whole world

(///)

**Ki ♥**

Omg. Is that it. Am I just a kink to you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

shut uppp dork

no

again

my whole world

**Ki ♥**

How do I answer to this.

Oh, I know.

“Shut uppp, dork.”

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I felt that comeback in my bones

**Ki ♥**

Is that.

Is that yoo being punny.

Because two can play that game.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw, I was hoping you'd say I'm gonna feel other things in my bones

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, I have no idea what kind of sex have you participated in before but.

I am not, in any way or form, going to fuck your skeleton.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I mean

I haven't participated in anything much in a while so I am rusty

at sexting too

you're gonna have to unravel me all over again

btw on my way home

**Ki ♥**

Ok, this does it. First the pics, now this.

I am ditching the guys.

Going home, too.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh

ohhh

are you now

**Ki ♥**

Yes.

Also.

Show me that big fat certificate you got.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

that what you want to see

that the only big fat thing you are interested in

 

**Ki ♥**

Since I am still in public, it will suffice.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

suddenly where's your streak for adventure

**Ki ♥**

Well, isn't that rich from a guy who can't say “dick.”

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

>.<

**Ki ♥**

And here he is. My lovable hyung.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

[photo sent]

are u proud

**Ki ♥**

Very.

Should I say it? You know what I'm thinking.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what

wait

are THESE daddy hours??

finally lmao

**Ki ♥**

I am not saying it with my own mouth, you kinky monster, but just know that papa is proud.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

U JUST DID U SAID IT WITH YOUR MOUTH

**Ki ♥**

Yeah, well, just wait what else this mouth can do.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

NO NO STOP

I AM SO NOT GETTING A HARD-ON IN A TAXI

**Ki ♥**

Christ.

Let's talk in a few?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yesss

 

~

 

**Ki ♥**

Home.

Are you there yet?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

a few more blocks

**Ki ♥**

It's alright, don't rush.

I'll take a shower in the meantime.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that supposed to make me NOT rush??

 

~

 

**Ki ♥**

I don't know.

You tell me.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

TEASE

U LET ME WAITING

FOR WAY TOO LONG

u knew I was only a few minutes away from home!!

and then u come at me with bed selfies

outrageous

**Ki ♥**

I was in the shower for literally ten minutes.

Smh this extranes **s.**

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was waiting

alone, with my aloneness, alonely

**Ki ♥**

Those are not real words.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

well neither is extraness!

**Ki ♥**

So is this foreplay or.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

(///)

I'm normally really good at segueing but

not today

I took photos instead??

**Ki ♥**

Oh my god.

What kind of photos.

Hoseok, tell me first.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it's nothing

just

a sneak peek of our stage outfits

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

wanna see

**Ki ♥**

Absolutely.

If you're okay with that?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am

but will you be okay?

**Ki ♥**

Fuck.

That went straight to my dick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

there's two

**Ki ♥**

!!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

**Ki ♥**

Shit fucking christ.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I take it that you like what you see

**Ki ♥**

If you don't fucking sit on my face right now.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyunnn

do you like that? doing that to guys, I mean

**Ki ♥**

Do I like eating them out?

Yes.

Don't even let me breathe, I don't care at this point.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

omygOD you'd really do it????

**Ki ♥**

Hasn't anyone done it to you yet?

What the hell.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ppl usually want to sit on my face lol

**Ki ♥**

Are you that big of a daddy irl.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I guess I'm on the bigger side?

**Ki ♥**

I don't care.

With me? You're getting spoiled.

Do you still have that thing around your neck?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yes

**Ki ♥**

Good.

Don't take it off.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and the rest?

**Ki ♥**

What are you still wearing it for.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

besides for u to take it off?

**Ki ♥**

Hell, Hoseok.

Keep the collar.

Take off the rest.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

get naked too

I'm not doing this alone

**Ki ♥**

Do you really think I was talking to you fully clothed.

I have manners.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I don't care about fully clothed

get

naked

**Ki ♥**

Damn.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

hurry

**Ki ♥**

[photo sent]

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

hell

this is an even better angle than the first one

so you expect me to just lie here not sucking on anything

**Ki ♥**

Suck on your fingers.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

god

send another one

I wanna see you hold it in your fist

**Ki ♥**

[video sent]

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

fuck, Kihyun

**Ki ♥**

Did you hear what I said?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah...

**Ki ♥**

Do it, then.

Pull at them gently. Wet your fingers again if you need to.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I want you to do it

to me

to yourself

in front of me

**Ki ♥**

Do you like it? To watch.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

watch

be watched

idek I just want it to be you

kiss my neck

tug on my nipples

just a little

I don't like it when it hurts

**Ki ♥**

I'm not even going to waste time with my hands.

Only to pull you closer.

Other than that?

I want to suck on every part of you. I want you to grab my hair as I do it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyun my cock aches

**Ki ♥**

Slide your hand down.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

okay

**Ki ♥**

Touch yourself. Be slow.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I'm touching

but not the cock

**Ki ♥**

Fuck.

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

[photo sent]

**Ki ♥**

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Hoseok.

I almost came.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I want you

**Ki ♥**

Do you have anything to prep yourself with?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no

**Ki ♥**

Then don't do it, baby.

Touch yourself, but don't go in.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I want to

I want you to

**Ki ♥**

I know.

And I will.

Any way you want me to.

But for now. Suck on your fingers again so it feels nice when you stroke your dick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

[photo sent]

**Ki ♥**

Good boy.

God, I want that in my mouth.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it will stretch your pretty little lips

**Ki ♥**

It sure fucking will.

Hoseok, I won't fucking let you go until you cum on my tongue.

Then I'll eat you out until you come again.

I want you to feel so good that you can't even breathe.

I want you to crush me closer. Hold me as you come.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I won't fucking let go of you

too strong for that

**Ki ♥**

Good. Don't be afraid to pull me and push me where you need me.

I can handle pain.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh wow

I felt that in my belly

and you're not even touching me yet

**Ki ♥**

Then imagine I am.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyunn

**Ki ♥**

Fuck, if you say this in the tone I think you said it while we fuck. I'll die.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

[file sent]

**Ki ♥**

Oh my god.

Say it with my fingers in your mouth. Say it as I kiss you. I will kiss you deep and slow.

Press your thighs to your stomach.

Fuck you until you say it again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

fuck fcjuk

fuck

I'm

**Ki ♥**

Close, too.

Don't stop.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I'm fcking ther

e

**Ki ♥**

Oh baby.

Almost there.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

**Ki ♥**

**Fuck**

 

holy shit

holy shit fuck

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't swear!! >.<

**Ki ♥**

Are you.

Are you for real.

Are you the same person who just did and said all of this.

I can't catch my breath holy hell.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ki

I want you here

**Ki ♥**

Next time. I will be.

This was

I can't even finish.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

mood

this was great I'm still throbbing but

I miss you

I can't hold you and it sucks

so much

**Ki ♥**

Do you have something to cuddle?

A plushie or.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

joke's on you, I am actually cuddling a plushie

it's about your size

**Ki ♥**

I just made you come and this is what I get in return.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

do you always talk like this

during sex

**Ki ♥**

The important question is.

Do YOU?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I didn't say that much!!

u were the one who was all about eating me out!!

(*ﾟДﾟ*)

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, you pulled a whole Mr Hyde on me.

But also. Yes. That ass is gonna get eaten.

Preferably on a regular basis.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

but you don't even know how I look yet

what if you don't like my body

**Ki ♥**

At this point?

I don't care if you are one of those pickled Futurama heads.

With no body at all.

Still got the prettiest boyfriend in Seoul, so.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

*korea

but asthgjasjgsag

**Ki ♥**

I will throw you out of the window.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u can't

ur liddle

and I'm not

**Ki ♥**

Let's see then.

If you're finally okay with it, that is.

I mean, you might be. Right? After sending me your dick AND the other picture.

Which, by the way, still has me weak.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I think I might be

yes

**Ki ♥**

Hold on.

Is the mystery truly about to be unveiled?

Will I see a whole Hoseok?

All of you?

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

“a whole hoseok” asjgj

whomst else u smol dork

**Ki ♥**

Send it to me. Send it now while I'm still laying down.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u might need to stand up just to lay down again

old but gold

well I took it some four months ago

**Ki ♥**

What the????

It's you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that a statement or is that you being suspicious again

**Ki ♥**

No, you don't get it.

It's you.

You're who I thought you were when you first

Wait.

Wait, that can't be.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

Kihyun, what?

what's going on

you're not making sense, you're making me all panicky

**Ki ♥**

I'm the one who's panicking.

I know you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what

**Ki ♥**

No, not as in know-know you but

I've seen you before.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

again, what??

are you sure?

**Ki ♥**

What do you mean, am I sure!

Are there any other men like you?

I'm freaking out, hyung, I just came for a person who I thought was a stranger, but, like, a stranger I was getting to know better.

And you're actually a stranger I've met before.

In person.

In real life.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

impossible

don't you think I'd remember

**Ki ♥**

Well, isn't that telling.

I recognized your face right away.

I simply told myself that there is no way. I was like, no, they just look alike.

I really convinced myself you're not him. You, I mean. I'm confused.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

so am I kihyun!!!!

I am telling you! if we had met, I would've KNOWN

trust me on that

**Ki ♥**

Look.

I knew your face, that's why I freaked out back then.

Though immediately after, I told myself that you can't be the same person.

Like, what were the chances?

And you kept talking in riddles, you said more than once that guys are nasty to you bc of your body.

So I got the idea that you're probably a bit hefty or maybe you don't have an arm and it makes people too forward bc they think you'll be grateful for the advances or something.

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I have both arms thank you

legs too

and they are spectacular

and I also have eyes and I know that these two eyes have never been laid on you!!

you must be wrong

**Ki ♥**

I'm not, though.

It's you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you're scaring me

**Ki ♥**

I'm scaring you?

It's me who's scared.

I literally came to a random park jogger who ran past me twice at the university campus.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wait what

no

which university

**Ki ♥**

Chugye.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wait, in bugahyeon-dong??

kihyun

that's not possible

look, I do jog regularly, but I took that route around chugye, like, twice maybe

that's it

we couldn't have met

that's too much of a coincidence

**Ki ♥**

Are you telling me that you went for your little jog in the university park twice and that I saw you there, running like a freak, twice?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I would have noticed you!!!!!!!!!

it must've been someone else!!!!!!!

wait a minute

are you a stalker

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, what the hell.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

is that how you got my number

**Ki ♥**

You know very well how I “got” your number.  
I will never not be mortified about it.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

this is just my luck

the man whom I love is a stalker

**Ki ♥**

Not a stalker!!

Also, “whom?” Nice.

Also, what?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

how come I don't know you

are you SURE

are you sure it was me?

were you following me?

**Ki ♥**

Firstly, you probably didn't notice because you are a Greek god and I am me.

Secondly, yes. I am positive. It was you. Because when you ran past me, I kept staring at your back like the fool I am. And you did this twice, almost scaring me to death the second time with your huffing and puffing.

Not to mention that you. Jogged. At the campus of a university of arts. No one does sports here. No one even moves unless it's to move notes up the octave. You were pretty memorable.

And lastly. You big dumbass. I was not following you since I am not!! A stalker!!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

that's exactly what a stalker would say

**Ki ♥**

If I were a damn stalker, I would keep this all to myself so I can spy on you even more.

Besides, I would know all your regular spots.

Don't you think I'd be a little more clever about this.

And choose, idk, a less suspicious place, like some coffee shop near your studio?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

how do you know there is a coffee shop!!

**Ki ♥**

I swear.

There are coffee shops all over Seoul.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

smh

so you lurked @ me??

back then

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok.

You are quite a sight.

Thus, although I didn't exactly lurk, I did glance back.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

**t** hat pleases me

so much

even tho it doesn't really beat the fact that you were ok with me not having arms or legs

that's sweeter for sure

**Ki ♥**

Let me get one thing straight.

You weren't being shy when you didn't want to show me your body.

You wanted me to be a goner for your face instead.

And, perhaps, your personality.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

honestly?

yes

haha you must think I'm so overdramatic

and full of myself

**Ki ♥**

A little.

What can I do with you, though. I'm truly a goner, which means your plan worked.

And to repeat, y'know, just for good measure.

I am not a stalker. I am not stalking you.

If I did, I would have busted through that door while busting a nut five minutes ago.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kkkkkk

now I almost wish you were

in any way

I trust u

remember?

**Ki ♥**

Really?

You're not going to freak out a few days later and bring this back up, right?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

really really

I was just effing with u

**Ki ♥**

What have I ever done to deserve this.

-_-

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u stole my heart

this is a revenge

**Ki ♥**

First you post-coital roast me.

Then you post-coital confess to me.

Should I even take anything you say seriously at this point?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

pls do

I blurted but

the truth is

I am a goner for you too

**Ki ♥**

“I am yelling, but softly.”

Lee Hoseok, message history, 2018.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I AM WHEEZING

**Ki ♥**

Hey.

It's only just occurred to me.

Where exactly do you live? Nearby? By the uni?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't u know it mr stalker

**Ki ♥**

Not a stalker!!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ahahaha

should I tell u then

**Ki ♥**

If you want that dick and want me to choke on yours?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I live near Hansung!!

normally I go for a run around there

**Ki ♥**

The high school?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yep

**Ki ♥**

But that's so close!!!!!!!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

does it mean I'm getting dicked down soon

**Ki ♥**

You're getting kissed silly first, I haven't been brought up in a cave.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kissed where

[eyes emoji]

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok.

We could literally see each other today.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no I'm gross and sweaty and covered in cum!!

**Ki ♥**

You're not making me NOT want to meet you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyun no!

does wednesday sound good?

**Ki ♥**

Why Wednesday?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

we have the event

u could come and pick me up after

or, if you want to

watch me dance

**Ki ♥**

In that outfit?

That one?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u know it

**Ki ♥**

Oh my god.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and afterwards

u could take me to a late dinner

I always get hungry after a performance

**Ki ♥**

Absolutely.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and then take me home

my home

I don't want any minhyuks to barge in on us in the middle of a succ

not to mention I investigated and if we spoon, we're gonna fit on the bed just fine

**Ki ♥**

Fucking amazing.

Does that also mean ear kissing time?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!!

(●´□`)♡

**Ki ♥**

I guess it does.

In any way, I'm a bit bummed. We live so close.

We could've been seeing each other this whole time.

How do you expect me to wait until Wednesday?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u gotta!!

I have to prepare anyway

adjust my diet so we can

...

**Ki ♥**

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

don't u use jackson against me!!

**Ki ♥**

Are you seriously fussing over your diet? So we can have sex?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and the other thing

(///)

**Ki ♥**

You don't have to.

Simply.

Eat and be eaten anyway.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

* pterodactyl-yells *

**Ki ♥**

Pffft.

Love, it's getting late.

And since you don't want me to come to / all over you tonight, I suppose I am going to go to sleep.

With my sadness.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

askjtaksga

did I wear you out?

**Ki ♥**

Mmmm.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh my god

u must be so cuddly rn

**Ki ♥**

I am.

So, your loss.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw

still

at least when you see me (properly) for the first time

it will be with a bang

**Ki ♥**

That's kinda the idea, that we bang.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

out, puny punny man!

**Ki ♥**

Goodnight.

Tty tomorrow?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh, definitely

ur not getting rid of me

ever

**Ki ♥**

Sweet.

 

~

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

a daily reminder that I am still absolutely stunning

**Ki ♥**

Mood.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ASLJASOGJSAG

SAME SHIRT

ALSO WHAT THE HECK

WHERE IS YOUR FRINGE

WHERE IS MY SWEET LIDDLE MAN

**Ki ♥**

I've reached my final form.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did nutting to me did this to u

come back cutie pie I am not ready for this first thing in the morning

**Ki ♥**

First you drag my fringe.

Then you drag my lack of said fringe.

Well, it's not like I didn't expect this. You never support my fashion choices.

Either way, I am still cute.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

you are smoking hOT excuse you

**Ki ♥**

Am I?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

YOU KNOW IT

**Ki ♥**

That feels almost as good as being praised about my dick.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

yeah well

didn't I say I was the bestest boyfriend already??

**Ki ♥**

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

omgsfakf shUT UP

but tru

( ˊᵕˋ )♡

**Ki ♥**

What are you up to?

Slept well?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I was a lil cold. u know, when u went to sleep without me

content, though

tired in a nice way

so I fell asleep basically a minute after you left

**Ki ♥**

I told you I'd go to you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no I want you to see me all prepped and pretty!!

btw

I'm at jooheon's studio atm!! the boys are recording

they asked me to help them come up with some bars

since, u know, according to u I could be a lyricist

**Ki ♥**

Sounds interesting!

I only hope, for your own good and theirs, that there are no more piropos and peenropos.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

lololololol shut up u were smitten

and unprepared for my talent

well tbh so was I when you sent me the recording of your voice

u guys should collab. u and jooheon and I.M I mean

I showed them your love song

bc I gloated

they loved it!!

**Ki ♥**

Of course they loved it, my voice can part the seas.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and woo sirens

**Ki ♥**

And shatter mountains.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

and make me hard and hot

**Ki ♥**

I will just pleasantly choke to death on this bit of air.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

choke on my ass

**Ki ♥**

I'm in the class!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

that rhymed

told u u should collab with the guys

**Ki ♥**

I quite literally lost ten years of my life because of you right now.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kkkk

I think I'm bolder when I'm amongst rappers

they're so blunt!

**Ki ♥**

I can see that.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

gunhee is here too

he's also a friend of mine

we're getting matching tattoos!!

**Ki ♥**

What the fuck!

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

did I tell you

I already have some

**Ki ♥**

No.

No, indeed you haven't.

Where?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

either guess or look

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

**Ki ♥**

Is it on your ass.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!

:(

I promised I wasn't gonna say it but

are you sure you're not a stalker

**Ki ♥**

Ffs.

What kind of tattoo?

Is it, like, something ratchet? Like your ex-boyfriend's name or something?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no!!

it's extremely pretty!!

**Ki ♥**

Is it your face.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

ASKFSA

no

but I hope your face will be there

**Ki ♥**

I cannot with you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I am so smooth today

**Ki ♥**

Sigh.

I am just counting hours.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

for me to shut up??

for the seminar to end??

**Ki ♥**

For Wednesday to come.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

LAME

I love it

**Ki ♥**

[moon emoji]

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

the important thing is

is kihyun the church boy gonna make his comeback or

are u really going to make me weak with a hairstyle like this

when u KNOW I gotta perform

in front of ppl

with my gay shaking legs

**Ki ♥**

Per my last email, your gay legs were shaking even when I had the fringe.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

wow

you're not wrong tho

**Ki ♥**

:)

I can bring it back if you miss it so much already.

It's just styled.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

this is a conundrum

**Ki ♥**

Now you're getting me all aroused.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

asdgpkpg

bc I said conundrum

**Ki ♥**

Yeah, baby, talk dirty to me.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

**Ki ♥**

LOL.

Oh, shoot.

Hey, love? It's my turn to vocalize. Gotta go.

I'll miss you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw, liddle man

I'll miss you too

I always do

**Ki ♥**

Fucking mood.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

>.< go go

 

~

 

**Ki ♥**

So I got the tickets.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

what?? why??

ur my plus one u didn't have to buy it!!

wait, tickets??

**Ki ♥**

First of all, how dare you assume that I won't support my boyfriend financially.

Second of all, the guys insisted they must go too to make sure you're real. They're still starstruck and lowkey don't believe you'd settle for me.

Don't worry, though, I won't let them stick around for our actual date.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

“settle” shm

you're the cutest man I've ever seen so

I am going to destroy them to defend your honour

**Ki ♥**

With your muscles or with your beauty?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

mostly with my beauty since I don't want to kill anyone

I don't like to use my strength like that

not to mention my beauty is still deadlier than my strength

**Ki ♥**

Oh, is that how it is?

Are those muscles only for show?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

we'll see when I pick u up

**Ki ♥**

Can't wait.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

neither can I :(

oh, uh-oh

right, okay

I was on my way to the studio

and now I'm upstairs and hyunwoo is giving me the disappointed dad look bc I keep texting to you instead of getting changed

we rly need to revise the choreo

this will be a busy day

**Ki ♥**

Do you have more dads? Is that how it is?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

no ur my one and only!!

 

**Ki ♥**

I wonder.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

hyunwoo says hi!!

AND ALSO PLEASE LET ME BORROW MY MAIN DANCER FOR A MOMENT

HELLO HI THANK YOU

**Ki ♥**

Omg, he's even bigger than you.

Also he types like a proper dad.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kkkk

I know

I'll see you later!

this time!!

for real!!!

with my own two eyes!!!!

I'll touch you with my own two hands!!!!

I am dying I can't wait

**Ki ♥**

Same.

Take care?

Love you.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

aw!!!!!!

love you too

(●´□`)♡

 

~

 

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

are you here already????

I can't see you I am trying to find you in the crowd but

I am freaking out what if you decided not to come

**Ki ♥**

Calm down, hyung.

I'm here.

Look right. Your right. I'm about two metres from the stage.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I can't see you still!! >.<

**Ki ♥**

Do you see the three of us waving?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

oh

oh!!!!

u rly came I am choking up

it's about to start I have to stop texting

**Ki ♥**

Do me proud, baby.

You'll be great.

 

~

 

**Ki ♥**

I still can't believe.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

!!!!!!

yeah

**Ki ♥**

It was. Wow.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

(///)

yeah

**Ki ♥**

So I'm glad to have ascertained the following points:

1\. You have a lisp, too, so f you for laughing at me.

2\. You can, in all actuality, pick me up. Though you didn't have to spin me. Next time, please spare my dignity.

3\. The guys were shook. I feel so pleased and vindicated I can't even gloat out loud. I just sort of strut around the apartment and watch them shrivel with envy.

4\. You are so goddamn beautiful.

5\. I am in love.

6\. I am in love.

7\. I am so disgustingly in love.

8\. I want to see you again. Like, now. I know I just left, but. Yeah.

9\. Not even after we sexted would I ever imagine the things you can say and do with a straight face.

10\. Your ears are super warm when I kiss them.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

OHMYGOD

what is this essay do you want to kill me???????

my heart

omg

kihyunnn

**Ki ♥**

11\. When you laugh? At my jokes? Fuck.

Your whole face is just. I can't even.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

stoppppp I barely recovered from the goodbye kiss

and now this

**Ki ♥**

So you recovered already?

Should I take a cab back?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

kihyuN

u should

u should like move in

ahaha

but for real the bed is empty so

well not empty there's me

we can make it work tho

**Ki ♥**

Dork.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

u could come over in the evening at least?

**Ki ♥**

That's the plan.

Oh, and as a side note?

I should've known that the tattoo on your ass is a fucking flower.

What else would a huge gentle softie like you get there, thb.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

it's beautiful!!

u loved it u kissed it for like 10 mins

next

I'm getting “ki” tattooed behind my ear

**Ki ♥**

Hoseok, no.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

lmao

after we're married

**Ki ♥**

Is this a proposal?

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

I mean

u had me at the peen pic anyway

remember

**Ki ♥**

Don't.

Don't you send the cheesy emoticon again.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

:>

[ring emoji]

**Ki ♥**

Oh my god.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

in a couple of years, lil man!!

it's not a threat, we're doing this

**Ki ♥**

Ilysm.

**Hoseok/ (•** **ㅅ•** **)** **＼**

( ˊᵕˋ )♡

by the way?

we're the single most adorbs couple in seoul

**Ki ♥**

*Korea.

But so we are. So we are.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who stuck with the silliness to the end - lmao, but thank you. You're the best.


End file.
